Are you there, Vodka?

This blog is dedicated to the classiest drunk and sharpest tongue around. Chelsea Handler truly is the queen of late-night comedy.


Khloe: “You know, I’m still third place. And I’m not trying to get to No.1. I get Kim. No one can come between her golden goose. But second? I mean, Kourtney’s like watching paint dry. I don’t really get what I have to do to win a little attention here or there.”

Chelsea: “I agree with you. I think Kourtney is like watching paint dry. I mean, she’s no dynamo…”

Everyone has their shit. Everyone is trying to be the best they can be. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is learning from each other.
Chelsea Handler (via quotetherapy)


True intimacy.

(via fuckyeahjenkirkman)


  • Chelsea: You're in love with Blake Shelton, you're not scared to admit that. You guys have been dating for like two and a half years now? That's beautiful!
  • Adam: We're having some sexual problems though.
  • Chelsea: Is that on your end more?
  • Adam: No, no.
  • Chelsea: He drinks a lot
  • Adam: He drinks a lot so... It's a problem but he's fine. He's okay, we'll be alright. We'll figure it out somehow.
  • Chelsea: Yeah, I talked to Miranda about it too. She has the same issues that you do because he's drunk all the time.
  • Adam: And that's why we get along, Ran and I, because we have so much to talk about between the two of our relationships.
  • Christina: And that's why Christina left the show, she's not even pregnant, she just couldn't handle his drinking
  • Adam: Yeah I know, she's like, "This is crazy, I'm out of here."