Are you there, Vodka?

This blog is dedicated to the classiest drunk and sharpest tongue around. Chelsea Handler truly is the queen of late-night comedy.

burberryandbitches:

Khloe: “You know, I’m still third place. And I’m not trying to get to No.1. I get Kim. No one can come between her golden goose. But second? I mean, Kourtney’s like watching paint dry. I don’t really get what I have to do to win a little attention here or there.”

Chelsea: “I agree with you. I think Kourtney is like watching paint dry. I mean, she’s no dynamo…”

Everyone has their shit. Everyone is trying to be the best they can be. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is learning from each other.
Chelsea Handler (via quotetherapy)

jenkirkman:

True intimacy.

(via fuckyeahjenkirkman)

 

  • Chelsea: You're in love with Blake Shelton, you're not scared to admit that. You guys have been dating for like two and a half years now? That's beautiful!
  • Adam: We're having some sexual problems though.
  • Chelsea: Is that on your end more?
  • Adam: No, no.
  • Chelsea: He drinks a lot
  • Adam: He drinks a lot so... It's a problem but he's fine. He's okay, we'll be alright. We'll figure it out somehow.
  • Chelsea: Yeah, I talked to Miranda about it too. She has the same issues that you do because he's drunk all the time.
  • Adam: And that's why we get along, Ran and I, because we have so much to talk about between the two of our relationships.
  • Christina: And that's why Christina left the show, she's not even pregnant, she just couldn't handle his drinking
  • Adam: Yeah I know, she's like, "This is crazy, I'm out of here."